Remember Slumdog...

Ok, I know I'm like really late with this...but if you know me, it's just one of my exquisite charms. Jokes aside, I didn't really want to watch the movie until all the hype died down so I wouldn't ultimately see the movie through rose-tinted glasses - if you know what I mean. As usual, my method always works...it's like surprising myself (lol) BOO! Anyway, after just watching it, I re-read reviews trying to find one that was atleast remotely relevant to the actual film but typically I couldn't find anything decent. All I found was a bunch of crap like...

"A cheerfully undemanding and unreflective film with a vision of India"
The Guardian
　
''It takes your breath away at the same time as it makes you want to holler with joy or to grab the person next to you: Yes!"
Telegraph
　
''Visually dazzling and emotionally resonant, Slumdog Millionaire is a film that's both entertaining and powerful.''
Rotten Tomatoes

　
Ummm...Was there another version of this film or did we watch the same thing? - ''holler with joy'' - are you serious?

This movie would have fitted into every ''dark'' genre out there and only a sadistic psycho would have hollered with joy. I mean, it was full of child abuse, child-trafficking, implied rape, parent-murdering, excruciating police interrogation, gormless protagonists, poverty, psychotic arsonists, incessant whorage, corruption and perpetual deaths! Not to mention stupid moments like the one with the ''kind'' Americans (was I da only one to smirk during that scene?) and scenes like the one where they intentionally blind the street kid...the image has been forever burned into my psyche!

The brother's relationship was the worst yet, the 'shit' scene alone should speak for itself..*ughh - poor lil' sod* but it further carries on into his later life until the older brother opts to die in a bath of money (what exactly was the symbolism here?) sacrificing his life as a tact of ''kindness'' letting the girl go as if he wasn't the one who imprisoned her in the first place! W-T-Bollocks? Even that isn't in any way conceivable, the host of the show feeding him the wrong answer to the final question (which for some reason he doesn't choose), then selling him out to the police for assumed cheating?!...Dude, I could carry on for years!

All-in-all, it was far from ''uplifiting'', ''cheerfully undemanding'' or ''visually dazzling''. Oh, let's not forget the song/dance scene in the end which was like a horribly sarcastic ''ha-ha we just mentally phucked you'' two-step!

MmmHmmmm!