Media WHORE of the year!

His imagined acceptance speech - cut short:

Thank you so much. Thank you.

*adjusts mic*

Let me begin by thanking my wife and kids for giving me the freedom - to frolic. It has been a dream of mine to one day achieve the honor of being on every cover of every magazine, every channel on radio and television and all the front pages of every newspaper. I want to thank Oprah, Ellen & Sally Jessy Raphael. I would also like to thank the artists without whose captivating hooks and fetching beats, I wouldn't be here tonight. And Israel for opposing Gaza at a crucial point in my career. Not to mention, the stylists and make-up artists that prep me before every interview. Finally, I'd like to thank generally the world for keeping tabs on me. Ideally, words cannot be enough to express my gratitude. The year has just begun.

Thank you.
*shuffles notes*

Now, if there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who wonders if dreams really do come true, who still questions the power of our media...

Tonight is your answer!
*long pause for cheers*

Thank you very much.

-LOL-